Task Stalkers: How to Deal with Persistent To-Do List Items
Ever notice how certain tasks seem to cling to our to-do list, like that person who won’t take a hint at the bar? Like, clearly, I’m on a date with my book. Why are you talking to me? These pesky tasks usually make us feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and just plain terrified. And yet, just like that bar patron who wants to know what page you are on, these tasks stubbornly stick around from one week to the next month. It’s a telltale sign that something deeper is going on.
I consistently find myself with those lingering tasks stalking and lurking around like relentless machines from The Matrix. It’s like they receive energy from avoidance, and their sole purpose is to threaten my productivity. I’ve maintained an approach to my to-do list that allows me to consolidate the papers (yes, I write them down; Millennials still use paper sometimes, too) instead of throwing them away every day or week and tracking my progress over time. Thus, it’s easier to recognize when some project isn’t falling off.
When I notice a task playing hopscotch on my running to-do list, I initially do what any “productive” adult would do – ignore it. The fact that it's clinging on for dear life means that I need to figure out why. And who wants to do that?!
Eventually, though, I can't ignore it anymore because this singular task stalker creates a bottleneck and stalls my overall productivity.
Once I have the space and time to process what’s really going on, like a growing adult, I can identify the root problem as something related to fear—fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear that I have no idea what I'm doing. These fears manifest as avoidance and procrastination for me. Instead of facing them head first, I would rather they magically disappear. They never do.
I’ve had a lot of practice breaking out of this cycle, and no, I’m not always perfect with it. There’s always some other scary task ready to keep me from progressing and becoming the person I want to become, and fear is always right there with her side comments and doubts. However, there are some practical steps that I leverage to help me keep those scary tasks from overstaying their welcome on my to-do list.
Work with a Coach: Yes, I know; I’m a Coach. Coaches need coaching, too! Collaborating with a Coach helped me to uncover what was really going on. It illuminated the true reasons behind my avoidance and brought to light solutions and strategies to hold myself accountable.
Tie Tasks to Values and Purpose: I’ve realized that when the tasks align with my core values and larger goals, the importance is evident. I can easily prioritize and decide whether to delegate or drop tasks that don’t align. On my to-do list, I outline how each task directly connects to my values. If there is a direct correlation between how one small project impacts my Godly assignments and the bigger picture of my life, the imperativeness of completing the tasks and the objective perspective propels me to complete them.
Build in Rewards: This is especially true for particular tasks I don’t like to do, but it is in alignment with my values. I build in rewards. Sometimes, the rewards aren't even real rewards. For example, I needed to make an important phone call. So, I prioritized it before my bathroom break. Going to the bathroom was the reward! Scheduling my tasks around things that I need to do and find enjoyable, like eating or calling my mom, turns some of these things into rewards that I can look forward to.
Do It and Run Away: Finally, the one that I pull out when a task is so terrifying, even after my coaching sessions and schedule manipulation, is to do the thing and run away. I'll post a blog post that is a bit much and then immediately leave my office. I'll email a publisher and then immediately go for a walk. I'll send that risky text and immediately go to bed with my phone on Do Not Disturb. Yes. Do it with all the fear, anxiety, worry, and nail-biting, then literally remove myself from the situation. Sometimes, I'll even add a glass of wine afterward.
These approaches have allowed me to successfully cross stalking tasks off the to-do list that have occupied space for entirely too long. They have helped me grow and build muscle memory that these things that seem scary aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be. They remind me that I can do hard things and survive, even thrive. Those pesky tasks only last for a while, and I can perform them more quickly and efficiently. I'm growing more into the person I want to be, and that's exciting.
We all have the ability to do hard, scary things. There's so much beauty and growth on the other side if we can just figure out what approach works best for us.
Takeaways for doing those scary things:
Align with Values: Ensure our tasks align with our core values and larger goals.
Reward Ourselves: Use rewards to motivate ourselves to complete daunting tasks.
Take Action: Sometimes, we just need to do the thing and then step away.
Ready to tackle your to-do list head-on? As a certified life and engagement coach, I can help you identify what's holding you back and create a plan to move forward.
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